I found the answer, if anyone runs into this -- in my case, the "direct integration" command wrecked my former integration and so it wasn't complete anymore. In the new world, one needs both the KotlinMultiplatformLinkedPackage AND I had to manually add a run script for :embedAndSignAppleFrameworkForXcode script before compile sources.
Also worth noting: if you have multiple iOS packages, you need to put it at the root, and if you have parallel 1 step, you want to designate 1 step to be the first one (to introduce a fake "Target dependency" in the build phase of other targets.