not really, actually I wanted to use the ::variable.isInitialized from kotlin, which I cant

Why do you want that? Just make it a nullable property then.

yeah, I did that now, but I would just find it more beautiful if it doesn't have to be null

If you're going to check whether it's null just make it nullable, that's what "null safety" means.

but the thing is, it cant be null, it is designed as a lateinit

At the point you're checking it itcan be null, right?

yeah, the first time, but then I dont want to have

?

or

!!

all the time