A modern programming language that makes developers happier.

kotlinlang

I _am_ sick and tired of python, and there's nothing comfortable about it, but without CUDA or seriously tuned opencl backend I'm not going to waste my time training models at 1/50th the output

Yes, of course that if things are not fully baked you'd stay python despite not being comfortable w/ it.
Cuda allows other languages.  Is a kotlin (or kotlin-native) implementation needed?  There are a few kotlin/cuda projects online.  Or can jcuda help?
All OpenCLs are based on LLVM/CLang, guess we could use  kotlin-native.

i would be OK with a tensorflow wrapper that came with a pandas expression tool.  cuda has several prebaked NN library enhancements that sort of intermingle with tensorflow evolution

keras is the horizon focal point for DL api's actually.  s/tensorflow/keras